On the Prowl

I'm not the first to moan about house hunting in London, and I certainly won't be the last I can tell you that. "Its only going to get worse" says the woman at Thompson Currie. "The students are flooding in..." says Mr. Foxtons, as he licks his chops and skims the list. The dooms day prophecy shakes the walls of the office, a few papers fall to the floor. I hope my house has more solid foundations. But that's unlikely on a student budget. And if it's not solid walls, its a 'bedroom-livingroom-kitchen conversion.' I never did like to take dinner in my room, but if its a top floor property at least there won't be rats.

I've scraped the streets of London for estate agents. I make 30 phone calls a day. And I'm lucky if I get one viewing. It's a full time job. No one can afford to buy right now so the entire city is tethered to their rentals.

Today I told my latest estate agent - and hence, newest best friend - that I was becoming so familiar with the business that I might take it up. At least then I could afford a house.

But really. Who am I to complain? We all face the ugly housing market at some point in our lives, and we're never told it's getting any better. So what's the trick? Are these 11th hour pronouncement a ruse or is the shortage, truly, going to leave me homeless tomorrow? Either way the agents have me wrapped around their little finger. I don't want to take the risk. Tomorrow I'm optioning a garage. All they need to do is add the word, 'conversion' and I'm there.

Going Viral

I'm tweet tweet tweet twittering now, because a little birdie told me to. I'm learning all sorts of things like the social capital of a #, and the broadcasting potential of an @. I also know that Katy Perry is "back in Canada and FULL of VITAMINS" and I'm happy to report that President Chavez is THIS excited about football: "Ayayayyyyyyyy Paraguay.... Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllll!! Viva Venezuela!!"

I've already been publically shamed by a fellow tweeter, so my whole twitter universe now knows to address me as "Weeny." Luckily, it only consists of five followers. Not all news travels fast on the blogosphere.

But you'll know when "Weeny" goes viral.

Life Sentence

James Varone at Gaston County Jail. Photo: Ben Goff/The Gaston Gazette

If this doesn't make the point for national health care in the United States, nothing ever will. James Varone, of North Carolina, held up a bank for $1. He is now in jail. But he finally got what he wanted: A meeting with a nurse and an appointment with a doctor.

As told by Ed Pilkington of The Guardian: US Man Stages $1 Bank Robbery to get State Health Care

Holy Moley

In keeping with this blogs theme, I thought it was only fair to find some friends for Gaucho Gil on my travels. A cowboy's gotsta work hard to keep a woman - hardly a surprise given that his saintly ladies really do hang out in the strangest of places...

Staying holy under the trees [small village, Amazon Rainforest, Brazil]

An airport shrine - for the fearless only [Leticia Airport, Colombia]

Keepin' night drivers safe since 1989 [roadside, Colombia]

These saints just gave up and took off all their clothes [Mompox, Colombia]

Papa Americano

In lieu of finding the words to describe the past six months traveling up from Buenos Aires to Nicaragua (I honestly can't remember any, Spanish or otherwise) I'm going to begin with a numbered list. And pictures. In no particular order:

1. Boat Crash in the Amazon. The Brazilian civil defense unit eventually kick into action and we're rescued by an aircraft carrier... eight days later.

2. Hot Sauce

can never get enough

3. I like big butts and I cannot lie: Anything and everything in Rio.

Ipanema Beach

Jesus Walks...

Wouldn't you?

4. Working hard at The Naked Tiger

The hardest workers the hostel has ever seen

5.  Finding a Lost City

La Ciudad Perdida, Colombia

6. Sailing the San Blas

Jump in

7. Anything PHat. And yeah, that's with a PH.

Colombia's most famous artist likes all things PHat

8. Street Parties, Southern hemisphere styleeeee

Lapa Street Party, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

9. Sunsets and beaches (including tandem canoe trips as seen below)

Playa Blanca, Cartagena, Colombia

10. Papa Americano. I heard this song once a day without fail - for an entire year.
 

The Dog Ate My Homework

I'm not going to make any excuses for my absence as of late because I just don't have the words. (honestly, I've forgotten how to write). Instead, I'm hoping this will say it all. 182 days (six months if you're into numbers) of this. With some productivity thrown in there for good measure...

San Blas Islands, snapped during a five day sailing trip from Colombia to Panama

The Modern Day Saints

Last article for The Argentina Independent:

Soldiers of God on a Mission. Virreyes, Buenos Aires (photo: Kate Redburn)

God's soldiers have arrived on Argentine turf. Self proclaimed 'Modern Day Saints', the Mormon missionaries of Buenos Aires trawl the streets of the city for converts. They preach on the Subte. They preach on the buses. They preach in the rain. And when they hear no, they preach some more.

B.A. is home to three Mormon missions; and South America is currently playing garden of Eden to 50 different missions, populated with solid mid-Western stock; young men with glowing white teeth and an urgent message to share. I trekked down to the Virreyes Mission in the North of the City to hear it from the experts... Click here to learn how to do it, Missionary Style. 

Santa's Little Helpers

It's summer in the southern hemisphere. Which not only mean's I'm sporting a tan (this has become a scary life goal), but also means that Christmas has just passed. Christmas isn't exactly on the agenda here - other than British expats flooding the beaches wearing santa hats (and I'll be honest here, I did the same), it seemed to pass without much note. But the good news is that Christmas elves never stop needing the loo. Northpole or not.

A Christmas elf in Bosques de Palermo Park, Buenos Aires

The Villas: The Sheratoncita

Slum tourism is a really buzz topic right now, as the favelas of Brazil welcome in busloads of visitors each day and the movie, Slum Dog Millionaire, suddenly made the shantytowns of Mumbai a tourist must-see. There are so many facets of the industry and so many faces involved:

Carlos Adrien outside The Sheratoncita

Carlos Adrien lives in Villa 31, the biggest shanty town in Buenos Aires. As Villa 31 is organizing itself into an established community with it's own governing system and an explosion of wrought iron houses instead of cardboard, he has decided to convert his own house into a hotel. Cleverly named the Sheratoncita, he certainly doesn't promise anything less... To read, A Weekend at the Villa: The Sheratoncita Hotel, click here.

(Photo: Shooresh Fezoni for The Argentina Independent)

The Villas: A Leg-Up

Of everything I have done for The Argentina Independent,  I think my favourite articles are the ones I wrote for the Villa series. I came across the stories on my first week here, so I was very glad when I finally found the contacts.

Guido Fuentes and the models on the rooftops of Villa 31

Guido Fuentes is a Bolivian hairdresser who runs a beauty school out of his kitchen in the biggest shanty town of Buenos Aires. The girls, age 11-22, put on fashion shows and do photo shoots in the Villa and beyond. Guido's unwavering sternness is the perfect anecdote to the energetic gaggle of models that flood his kitchen each week with make-up and costume demands to the max. To read the article, A Leg-Up: Catwalk Classes in Villa 31, click here.

A Hippy Haven

El Aldea is an ecocommunity hidden deep in the concrete jungle of Buenos Aires. Wedged between highrises and an airport, under a sky of smog, sits this Utopian community devoted to recycling and organic farming. I went a couple of times in order to write my article. I of course stood out like a sore thumb, but it wasn't long before I was eating a 'raw' cake made from ingredients gathered from dumpsters, and reveling barefoot with the best of them. The real clincher was right before lunch when we touched palms and closed our eyes in thanks - for about twenty minutes. Luckily the food was delicious. (To read my article click here)

...Can't you tell?

The Hit List

Everyone knows BA is all about the nightlife. In a city where dinner starts at 11pm, and work doesn't begin until lunchtime, that's hardly a surprise. In fact, beyond sitting in the park and the obligatory (though very interesting) tourist attractions, there is not that much else to do. Which is a good thing when you find yourself stumbling home as the sun comes up, day after day.


Where to go:

Club Niceto

It may be a familiar stop off on the Buenos Aires whistle stop tour but I've never had a bad night here. Some big time bands play too, and they have the mix of grime, trend and pure cheesyness down to a tee. Then again I haven't ever hit their infamous Club 69 which includes a drag show, a cabaret room and a stage devoted to hip-hop...

Club Niceto, Niceto Vega 5510

Latin Jam

For the Latin inside all of us. Latin Jam is definitely my favourite night in Buenos Aires. The live band would give any swing club a run for it's money, but the actual dancing is lacking. Nevertheless, it's as close as you're ever gonna get in BA. Sadly, my salsa dancing hasn't got any better. But that's not exactly a surprise when the average customer sports a fedora. A real shame to say the least. 

Latin Jam at Uniclub, Guardia Vieja 2260

Le Bar

The music is hit or miss as it mostly consists of new live bands or an open mic, but the low lighting and suave decor more than makes up for it. The drinks are good which helps, and it's a great, if somewhat surreal spot for lunch in the middle of the day. But hey, in the city that never sleeps, why should the bars?
Le Bar, Tucumán 422




Where not to go:

Le Cigale

This bar is really the reason why I am writing this post. I am currently awake and hungover in the middle of the night due to the worst drink I have ever had. Despite a two for one happy hour, which should be making the customers happy, I feel like I was fed turpentine. And that was just one drink. Don't go here. If that hasn't scared you away perhaps the fruit fly decor will (the walls, menu, signs, etc are embossed with images of fruit flies. It's unclear why, but ill-advised nonetheless).

For my pick of the TOP FIVE TERRACE BARS of Buenos Aires, check out my article here